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Consensual Non-Monogamy Among Kink-Identified Adults: Characteristics, Relationship Experiences, and Unique Motivations for Polyamory and Open Relationships

Archives of Sexual Behavior volume 50, pages 1521–1536 (2021)Cite this article

Abstract

People who engage in both kink and consensual non-monogamy (CNM) have received little attention in research. The present article reports on the characteristics, relationship experiences, and unique motivations for engaging in CNM of kinky and consensually non-monogamous individuals using data from two U.S. samples—one large, national (N = 690) quantitative survey, and one qualitative study (N = 70) of adults in Northern California. The results describe the prevalence of universal (e.g., jealousy, sexual desire discrepancy) and population-specific relationship experiences (e.g., kink interest discrepancy, “coming out” about relationship structure). Findings indicate that discrepancies in desire for kink are a common relationship experience for kink–CNM individuals and that managing kink interests is an important motivation for CNM in this particular population. Implications for future research and clinical practice with kinky and consensually non-monogamous individuals are discussed.

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Authors and Affiliations

  1. Department of Psychology, Stony Brook University, Stony Brook, NY, 11794, USA

    Ellora Vilkin

  2. Department of Human Development and Women’s Studies, California State University, East Bay, Hayward, CA, USA

    Richard Sprott

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  1. Ellora Vilkin
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Contributions

We thank Lyle Swallow, Julius Orejudos, Danny Schnittman, Jules Vivid, Patricia Finnegan, Deborah Addington, Deborah Hoffman-Wade, Reika Faust, Hunter Demaray, Kristin Ming, Chloe Bren Benoit and Heidi Aronson for their assistance in data collection and initial coding analysis on the KISS study. Contributor roles for this paper include: Vilkin: Conceptualization, Analysis, Writing—original draft and review/editing; Sprott: Conceptualization, Supervision, Analysis, Writing—original draft and review/editing.

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Correspondence to Ellora Vilkin.

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All procedures performed in studies involving human participants were reviewed by the Research Ethics Board of the University of California San Francisco (Study 1) and California State University, East Bay (Study 2).

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Vilkin, E., Sprott, R. Consensual Non-Monogamy Among Kink-Identified Adults: Characteristics, Relationship Experiences, and Unique Motivations for Polyamory and Open Relationships. Arch Sex Behav 50, 1521–1536 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-021-02004-w

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Keywords

  • Consensual non-monogamy
  • Sexuality
  • Intimacy
  • Kink
  • BDSM