Abstract
Cuckolding (also known as troilism) is a sexual interest in which one obtains sexual arousal from the experience of a romantic partner engaging in sexual activity with someone else. The present study investigated fantasies about and experiences with cuckolding in a large and diverse sample of predominately gay-identified men (N = 580). Compared to previous research focusing on heterosexual men’s cuckolding fantasies, our results indicate that gay men’s cuckolding fantasies share many common elements; however, they differ in some important ways. Most notably, interracial and BDSM themes do not appear to be as common in gay men’s cuckolding fantasies as they are among heterosexual men. Our findings also indicate that frequent fantasies about cuckolding are linked to several overlapping sexual interests (e.g., voyeurism, group sex) and, further, the content of these fantasies is associated with a number of individual differences (e.g., agreeableness, sensation seeking, sociosexuality). Finally, this study also suggests that gay men who act on their cuckolding fantasies tend to report positive experiences; however, the likelihood of reporting positive outcomes appears to depend upon one’s personality and attachment style.
This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.
Similar content being viewed by others
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association.
Baker, R. R., & Bellis, M. A. (1993). Human sperm competition: Ejaculate manipulation by females and a function for the female orgasm. Animal Behavior, 46, 887–909. doi:10.1007/978-0-387-28039-4_11.
Birnbaum, G. E., Simpson, J. A., Weisberg, Y. J., Barnea, E., & Assulin-Simhon, Z. (2012). Is it my overactive imagination? The effects of contextually activated attachment insecurity on sexual fantasies. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 29(8), 1131–1152. doi:10.1177/0265407512452978.
Blanchard, R. (1991). Clinical observations and systematic studies of autogynephilia. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 17(4), 235–251. doi:10.1080/00926239108404348.
Botwin, M. D., Buss, D. M., & Shackelford, T. K. (1997). Personality and mate preferences: Five factors in mate selection and marital satisfaction. Journal of Personality, 65(1), 107–136. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6494.1997.tb00531.x.
Chuba, V. (2015). Cuckold and hotwives: A survey of sexual lifestyle and satisfaction. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, The Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, San Francisco, CA.
Gallup, G. G., Burch, R. L., Zappieri, M. L., Parvez, R. A., Stockwell, M. L., & Davis, J. A. (2003). The human penis as a semen displacement device. Evolution and Human Behavior, 24, 277–289. doi:10.1016/S1090-5138(03)00016-3.
Gates, G. J. (2012). Same-sex couples in Census 2010: Race and ethnicity. The Williams Institute. Retrieved from http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/Gates-CouplesRaceEthnicity-April-2012.pdf. Accessed March 2, 2017.
Goetz, A., & Shackleford, T. (2006). Sperm competition and its evolutionary consequences in humans. In S. Platek & T. Shackleford (Eds.), Female infidelity and paternal uncertainty (pp. 103–128). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Graziano, W. G., & Tobin, R. M. (2009). Agreeableness. In M. R. Leary & R. H. Hoyle (Eds.), Handbook of individual differences in social behavior (pp. 46–61). New York: Guilford Press.
Joyal, C. C. (2015). Defining “normophilic” and “paraphilic” sexual fantasies in a population-based sample: On the importance of considering subgroups. Sexual Medicine, 3(4), 321–330. doi:10.1002/sm2.96.
Joyal, C. C., Cossette, A., & Lapierre, V. (2015). What exactly is an unusual sexual fantasy? Journal of Sexual Medicine, 12(2), 328–340. doi:10.1111/jsm.12734.
Kalichman, S. C. (2013). Sexual sensation seeking scale. In T. D. Fisher, C. M. Davis, W. L. Yarber, & S. L. Davis (Eds.), Handbook of sexuality-related measures (pp. 564–565). New York: Routledge.
Kinsey, A., Pomeroy, W. B., & Martin, C. E. (1948). Sexual behavior in the human male. Philadelphia: Saunders.
Krueger, R. B., & Kaplan, M. S. (2001). The paraphilic and hypersexual disorders: An overview. Journal of Psychiatric Practice, 7(6), 391–403.
Lehmiller, J. J. (2015). A comparison of sexual health history and outcomes among monogamous and consensually non-monogamous sexual partners. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 12, 2022–2028. doi:10.1111/jsm.12987.
Ley, D. (2009). Insatiable wives: Women who stray and the men who love them. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
Ogas, O., & Gaddam, S. (2011). A billion wicked thoughts: What the Internet tells us about sexual relationships. New York: Penguin.
Penke, L., & Asendorpf, J. B. (2008). Beyond global sociosexual orientations: A more differentiated look at sociosexuality and its effects on courtship and romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(5), 1113. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.95.5.1113.
Rammstedt, B., & John, O. P. (2007). Measuring personality in one minute or less: A 10-item short version of the Big Five Inventory in English and German. Journal of Research in Personality, 41(1), 203–212. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2006.02.001.
Reid, R. (2016). Cuckolding and cuckqueaning: The insanely popular fetishes you’ve never heard of. Metro. Retrieved from http://metro.co.uk/2016/12/21/cuckholding-and-cuckqueaning-the-insanely-popular-fetishes-youve-never-heard-of-6334850/. Accessed March 2, 2017.
Richters, J., De Visser, R. O., Rissel, C. E., Grulich, A. E., & Smith, A. (2008). Demographic and psychosocial features of participants in bondage and discipline, “sadomasochism” or dominance and submission (BDSM): Data from a national survey. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 5(7), 1660–1668. doi:10.1111/j.1743-6109.2008.00795.x.
Rosenberg, M. (1965). Society and the adolescent self-image. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.
Rubin, J. D., Moors, A. C., Matsick, J. L., Ziegler, A., & Conley, T. D. (2014). On the margins: Considering diversity among consensually non-monogamous relationships. Journal für Psychologie, 22(1). Retrieved from https://www.journal-fuer-psychologie.de/index.php/jfp/issue/archive.
Rusbult, C. E., Martz, J. M., & Agnew, C. R. (1998). The Investment Model Scale: Measuring commitment level, satisfaction level, quality of alternatives, and investment size. Personal Relationships, 5, 357–391. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.1998.tb00177.x.
Savage, D. (2006). Savage love: Openly skank. The Stranger. Retrieved from http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=62820. Accessed August 6, 2016.
Savage, D. (2008). Savage love: Gentlemen first. The Stranger. Retrieved from http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=643679. Accessed August 6, 2016.
Smith, R. S. (1976). Voyeurism: A review of literature. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 5(6), 585–608. doi:10.1007/BF01541221.
Wei, M., Russell, D. W., Mallinckrodt, B., & Vogel, D. L. (2007). The Experiences in Close Relationship Scale (ECR)-short form: Reliability, validity, and factor structure. Journal of Personality Assessment, 88(2), 187–204. doi:10.1080/00223890701268041.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Ethics declarations
Conflict of interest
The authors declare that they have no conflict of interest.
Ethical Approval
All procedures performed in studies involving human participants were in accordance with the ethical standards of the institutional and/or national research committee and with the 1964 Helsinki Declaration and its later amendments or comparable ethical standards.
Informed Consent
Informed consent was obtained from all individual participants included in the study.
Rights and permissions
About this article
Cite this article
Lehmiller, J.J., Ley, D. & Savage, D. The Psychology of Gay Men’s Cuckolding Fantasies. Arch Sex Behav 47, 999–1013 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-017-1096-0
Received:
Revised:
Accepted:
Published:
Issue Date:
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-017-1096-0