The Mathematical Intelligencer

, Volume 41, Issue 4, pp 35–36 | Cite as


  • Colin AdamsEmail author
Mathematically Bent Colin Adams, Editor

Scene: The review board sits in a row behind a table with the Head at one end. There is an empty seat facing the table.

(Hanson enters)

Head: Mr. Hanson, please sit down. I have asked you to come before this board because there has been an accusation made against you and we want to give you the chance to defend yourself.

Hanson: (Nervously) Yes, of course. I don’t know what this is about, but I assure you, I wouldn’t intentionally break any of the rules. What is it that I have supposedly done?

Head: We have reason to believe you’ve been GUI.

Hanson: GUI?

Head: Grading Under the Influence.

Hanson: Um, I’m confused. What do you mean?

Head: We believe you have been grading while under the influence of mind-altering substances.

Hanson: Seriously? You’re kidding, right?

Head: Do I look like I am kidding? Am I smiling? Are any of us smiling?

(Entire board glares at him.)

Hanson: Well, no. You look very serious. But this seems silly. I don’t use mind-altering substances.

(Head snorts. Looks...

Copyright information

© Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature 2019

Authors and Affiliations

  1. 1.Williams CollegeWilliamstownUSA

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