How to Slaughter a Human

Abstract

Y ou must bleed a human at slaughter, otherwise the meat will taste rancid and rot all the sooner. Stun it first—a shot or hammer-blow to the temple—then exsanguinate, as soon as possible, to minimalise the chance of its regaining consciousness, or the blood settling in any one part, bruising the flavour. A quick, deep cut across the throat with a very sharp knife is most efficient and porcine. Try not to excite the animal beforehand: fear and too much activity at time of slaughter will also spoil the taste. Then hang it, upside down, over an appropriate receptacle to collect the blood. Oats, parsley, bay leaves, and onion are the staples for blood sausage. Some pigs add pennyroyal, or fennel. Human intestines are long and excellent for the purpose, but get somebody else to wash them for it is stinking work. Better if humans have been fed grain exclusively for at least a week before processing. This cleans them out.