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Asking for Help Is a Sign of Weakness

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Abstract

I sometimes use this story with clients who feel that asking for any sort of help is a sign of weakness but the story also illustrates that help comes from unexpected sources. It suggests that we need to use all the strength that is available, no matter how unlikely (or puny) that help may appear. If I do not include the spiritual in my counselling work, can I honestly say that I am ‘using all my strength’ and if the client does not tap into their spiritual strength, however insignificant that may initially appear to be, will they be able to move ‘the rock’ that prevents growth and change?

An Ojibwe chief was advancing in years and, to his eldest son, appeared too weak to continue leading the tribe. He challenged his father, who agreed that, if his son could move the rock at the entrance to the reservation, he should indeed become the new chief. The son strained and heaved but could not budge the massive stone. His father looked on and commented ‘you are not using all your strength’. Irritated by his father’s disdain, the son again struggled, his muscles quivering with the effort. Once again the rock was unmoved and his father quietly repeated ‘you are not using all your strength’. Now angry, the son attempted to move the stone for a third time, sweat dripped from every pore and his head began to swim with the dizziness of fatigue. His father stood by patiently and calmly said, ‘Son, you are not using all your strength — you have not asked me to help’. Together they moved the stone.

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© 2015 Jeni Boyd

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Boyd, J. (2015). Asking for Help Is a Sign of Weakness. In: Nolan, G., West, W. (eds) Therapy, Culture and Spirituality. Palgrave Macmillan, London. https://doi.org/10.1057/9781137370433_3

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