Abstract
In the period immediately following a new diagnosis, parents often describe being in a state of shock, similar to the aftermath of a traumatic event. This overwhelming distress may cause parents to feel that they cannot think straight, their world has turned upside down, or that their sense of time and space has been altered. During this time, caring for themselves and gathering medical information are priorities. As much as possible, steadying themselves with reminders to take one day at a time, or even one hour at a time, can be crucial. It may be important to wait until this acute period has passed and parents once again have their feet underneath them before attempting to discuss the diagnosis with their children. It can be challenging to find an appropriate balance between allowing time for some emotional stabilization, while not letting too much time go by that parents risk children picking up on cues or overhearing conversations about the illness.
Brian is a 54-year-old father of two boys (6 and 8) with pancreatic cancer. Alexandra, his oncology social worker, has met with Brian and his wife, Nancy, several times over the past year to discuss parenting issues. In their first meeting, Brian had just been diagnosed and the couple had not yet talked to their children. In the next meeting, Brian was about to have surgery and they discussed how to best prepare the children to visit him in the hospital. In preparation for her next meeting with the couple, Alexandra approaches Brian’s medical team for information regarding the status of Brian’s treatment and whether there will be a shift to end-of-life care this month. Alexandra needs input from the team in order to provide information about legacy leaving, end-of-life care, and funeral planning at an appropriate time.
Brian, Adult Cancer Patient
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Russell, K.S., Rauch, P.K. (2012). Parenting with Cancer II: Parenting at Different Stages of Illness. In: Quinn, G., Vadaparampil, S. (eds) Reproductive Health and Cancer in Adolescents and Young Adults. Advances in Experimental Medicine and Biology, vol 732. Springer, Dordrecht. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-007-2492-1_11
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