How to Say “I'm Sorry” Without Admitting Guilt

In spite of the honor roll grades in high school, the academic awards in college, the Medical College Aptitude Test (MCAT), the academic distinction in medical school, internship, residency, and fellowship, we will still make mistakes. And sometime stuff really does just happen [5]. As physicians we pride ourselves in being thorough, intelligent, and compassionate. We have little tolerance for errors committed by members of our team or ourselves. We are devastated when things go wrong [59]. To prevent mistakes, we try to control the environment and members working with us. Nevertheless, errors would occur even if we could control everything and everybody. There are simply too many variables involved with the care of patients. As we experience these feelings of frustration, anger, denial, etc., we must be extremely careful how we act with patients or the patient’s family, immediately after an unintended consequence [60]. It is okay to say “I’m sorry.”[61] The doctor should explain the facts, listen to the patient or family, document the discussion in the chart, and stay in contact. We should not immediately blame others, avoid the patient’s family, lie, lose control, or use negligent words [62]. We should be honestly empathetic and supportive. As with many potential litigious situations, it is not only what we say but how we say it.