Gender Differences in Object of Desire Self-Consciousness Sexual Fantasies

Abstract

In a recent review article, Bogaert and Brotto (2014) discussed “object of desire self-consciousness,” a perception that one is romantically and sexually desirable in another’s eyes. They argued that this perception is more relevant to women’s sociosexual functioning than it is to men’s. In the present study, we attempted to find direct evidence that object of desire themes are linked more to women’s sexual desire and arousal than they are to men’s by examining the differences in content between men’s and women’s sexual fantasies. A total of 198 men and women reported on arousing themes in sexual fantasies using three methodologies: endorsement of items on a sexual fantasy questionnaire, sentence completion of sexually-charged scenarios, and open-ended sexual fantasies. The men and women also rated their attractiveness and were rated for attractiveness by two female experimenters. On all three fantasy composites, women endorsed more object of desire themes than did men, and these effects occurred independent of the subjective and observer-rated attractiveness measures. The results were discussed in relation to theorizing that object of desire self-consciousness can function as part of many women’s self-schemata or scripts related to romance and sexuality.

Appendix

Sexual Fantasy Questionnaire

The instructions and 62 items appear below (male participant version), with items that were identified (a priori) as indicative of ODSC italicized. In the female participant version, where applicable, male terms and pronouns were employed.

“Most men and women have sexual fantasies. Using the following scale, please evaluate how sexually exciting each of the items would be to you in the context of a sexual fantasy. Write the number that best represents your level of excitement in the space beside the item. Note that these scenarios specify a partner of the opposite sex. If you are more sexually attracted to a partner of the same sex, please mentally substitute male terms and pronouns.”

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
	Not at all Exciting			Somewhat Exciting			Extremely Exciting
1. Having sex with a very attractive stranger.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
2. My partner telling me how good-looking and sexy I am.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
3. Having sex with two or more very attractive partners at the same time.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
4. Imagining that I observe myself or others having sex.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
5. Having casual sex with a person who I just met and who finds me irresistible.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
6. I imagine that an older, experienced partner is attracted to me because of my youthful appearance.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
7. Being forced to surrender to someone who is overcome with lust for me.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
8. Dating an exotic dancer.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
9. A special woman is devoted to me and showers me with love and attention.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
10. Overpowering or forcing another to surrender because she is so irresistible.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
11. My partner tells me what she wants me to do to her during sex.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
12. Lusting after a hot woman who is teasing and arousing me with her body.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
13. Being passive and submissive to someone who wants my body.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
14. Being a promiscuous person who has many irresistible sexual partners.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
15. Exerting dominance and control over a partner who I am highly attracted to.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
16. Showing off my body to tease and arouse onlookers who lust after me.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
17. Using force or humiliating a person who desires me.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
18. Pleasuring many other people while having group sex.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
19. My partner showing me how much she desires my body.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
20. I sweep a woman off her feet and teach her all about romance and sex.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
21. Having sex with a stranger who is very attracted to me.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
22. Being overpowered or forced to surrender because I am so irresistible.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
23. Dressing in sexy, transparent underwear for my partner.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
24. Having sex with two or more partners, who are very attracted to me, at the same time.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
25. Giving sexual pleasure to many people.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
26. Talking dirty to my partner.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
27. Revealing my body to an attractive stranger.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
28. Exerting dominance and control over a partner who is highly attracted to me.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
29. Teasing a woman (or women) until I can no longer contain my sexual desire for her/them.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
30. Being the centre of attention while having group sex.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
31. Being passive and submissive to someone whose body I want.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
32. Having sex with many women, all of them overcome with lust for my body.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
33. Being forced to surrender to someone while I’m overcome with lust for her.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
34. Being a promiscuous person who attracts the attention of many partners with my irresistibility.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
35. Undressing for my partner.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
36. Using force or humiliating a person who I desire.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
37. Being an exotic dancer.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
38. Having sex in a different place like a car, hotel, beach, woods.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
39. Exerting dominance and control over a very desirable partner.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
40. I am devoted to a special woman and shower her with love and devotion.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
41. Having casual sex with a person I just met and find irresistible.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
42. Receiving sexual pleasure from many people.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
43. My partner tells me what she wants to do to me during sex.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
44. I imagine that I am attracted to a sexual partner because of her greater age and experience.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
45. Women talk about how sexy and irresistible I am before forcing me to sexually pleasure them.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
46. Showing my partner how much I desire her body.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
47. Having sex with many women, all of whom are very attractive.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
48. Teasing a woman (or women) until she is consumed with sexual desire for me.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
49. Having an attractive stranger reveal her body to me.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
50. A woman sweeps me off my feet and teaches me all about romance and sex.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
51. Having anal intercourse.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
52. Having sex with my current partner.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
53. Watching my partner undress.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
54. Feeling affection and emotional connection while having sex.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
55. Exerting dominance and control over a partner who finds me very desirable.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
56. Having sex without making eye contact.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
57. Taking the initiative and dominant role while having sex.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
58. Telling my partner how good-looking and sexy she is.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
59. Reliving a previous sexual experience.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
60. Being forced to sexually pleasure attractive women.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
61. Imagining my partner in sexy underwear.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7
62. Pretending that I am doing something wicked or forbidden.	1	2	3	4	5	6	7

The Scenarios

Instructions (male participant version) appear below, with items that were identified (a priori) as indicative of ODSC italicized. In the female participant version, where applicable, male terms and pronouns were employed.

“Imagine yourself as the main character in the following stories, and when you see underlined words in bold, choose the word or phrase that would best describe your feelings, actions, and behavior in the situation. Circle the word or phrase that best suits your decision. Note that these scenarios specify a partner of the opposite sex. If you are more sexually attracted to a partner of the same sex, please mentally substitute male terms and pronouns.”

Scenario 1

There is a woman in one of my classes who I liked right away because she is so (smart OR funny OR good looking OR friendly) and I find it appealing that (she seems to like me OR she’s playing hard to get OR I have no idea how she feels about me). If I had to guess, I’d say she (likes my body OR likes my personality OR doesn’t like me). I’m really interested in her, so today I’m going to wear something that makes me look really (sexy OR rich OR stylish). I’ve been thinking about this woman all morning and now I’m feeling really (sexy OR horny).

Scenario 2

My partner has planned a special weekend getaway for just the two of us. We have a romantic candlelight dinner and linger over our drinks. The sexual tension is building for me because (she is incredibly hot OR it is obvious she thinks I’m incredibly hot). Before long, the two of us are in bed, and because I’m feeling really (hot OR turned on), I start (taking off her clothes OR taking off my clothes). I begin to get aroused by (the sight of my partner’s body OR the way my partner looks at my body). As events progress, I’m becoming increasingly turned on by (the desire for my partner OR the desire I am arousing in my partner). My partner and I have exciting sex and this makes me feel really close to her. Afterwards, I feel satisfied and (glad my partner still gets so turned on by me OR glad that I still get so turned by my partner OR glad my partner and I are still so compatible together).

Scenario 3

My partner and I go to a party where there are several other couples and single friends we know. I know there will be some attractive women at the party so I decide to (wear clothing that shows off my body OR wear clothing that makes me look successful and rich). After having a few drinks, I begin (to notice that attractive women are checking me out OR to check out attractive women). I begin to become aroused by (how people are responding to the way I look OR how good other people look) and this makes me feel turned on because (I know I am still desirable OR I am fantasizing about having sex with someone at the party). When we leave the party I notice that I am feeling (hot OR horny). When we get home, I initiate sex. In the end, I’m glad we went to the party because (it made me feel sexy and desired OR I got to see lots of attractive people).

Scenario 4

My guy friends and I go out to the bar for a night on the town. After probably a few drinks too many, I notice an attractive woman and (start dancing in a sexy way to get her attention OR watch how sexy she looks when she dances). I start to get really turned on by (looking at her body OR the way she’s looking at my body). We continue to flirt all night and (I make sure she gets a good look at my body OR I make sure I get a good look at her body). We go back to her place I start (removing my clothes OR removing her clothes) to turn her on. At this point I feel so (sexy OR turned on). (I tell her how good-looking she is OR She tells me how good-looking I am) and we have lusty and exciting sex and afterwards I find all my clothes and stumble home. It was fun, but nothing more will ever come of it.

ODSC Fantasy Themes

ODSC-relevant responses are italicized (if present, the participant received a 1 score for that theme).

• 1. Attractive = attractiveness mentioned? (self/other)

  0 = no attractiveness mentioned

  1 = self-attractiveness mentioned

  2 = other attractiveness mentioned

  3 = both attractiveness mentioned

• 2. Attractobject = self or other as attractive as viewed by others

  0 = not mentioned

  1 = other sees self as attractive (e.g. I’m feeling hot)

  2 = other or self sees other person as attractive (e.g. “She was really hot”)

• 3. Attractself = self sees self as attractive

  0 = not mentioned

  1 = mentioned

• 4. Body = mention of their own body; includes body parts; (e.g. “her body looked great!”)

  0 = not mentioned

  1 = mention of own body

  2 = mention of other’s body

  3 = both bodies mentioned

• 5. Bodywant = some sort of implication that other wanted (e.g., to touch) self’s body; or that self-wanted (e.g., touch) other’s body

  0 = not mentioned; unclear

  1 = other wants self-body (e.g., to touch, etc.)

  2 = self wants other’s body (e.g. to touch, etc.)

  3= both; self and other want bodies (e.g., to touch, etc.)

• 6. Irresistiblebod = lack of control touching self’s body (i.e. irresistible)

  0 = no mention

  1 = self is irresistible

  2 = other is irresistible

  3 = both are irresistible

• 7. Irresistibleoth = general irresistibility (e.g. other than body, what self or other is doing is irresistible)

  0 = no mention

  1 = what self is doing is irresistible (other than body)

  2 = what the other is doing is irresistible (other than body)

  3 = what both are doing is irresistible (other than body)

• 8. Sexycloth = sexy/revealing clothing on (self/other)

  0 = not mentioned

  1 = self wearing sexy clothes

  2 = other wearing sexy clothes

  3 = self is naked

  4 = other is naked

  5 = both are naked

  6 = both wearing sexy clothes

• 9. Stylecloth = stylish clothing on self or other (e.g. attractive pantsuit)

  0 = not mentioned

  1 = self wearing stylish clothes

  2 = other wearing stylish clothes

• 10. Reveal = revealing/showing off body

  0 = not mentioned

  1 = self showing off body

  2 = other showing off body

  3 = both showing off body

• 11. Teasebod = teasing someone with body

  0 = not mentioned

  1 = self teasing with body

  2 = other teasing with his/her body

  3 = both teasing

• 12. Teaseact

  0 = not mentioned

  1= teasing with actions or with what self does

  2 = other teasing with actions

  3 = both teasing with actions

• 13. Otherwatch = other watching self’s body

  0 = not mentioned

  1 = other watching self’s body

  2 = other watching other’s body

  3 = other watching both

  4 = other watching multiple partner’s bodies

• 14. Selfwatch = self watching self

  0 = not mentioned

  1 = self watching own body

• 15. Lust = extreme lust (for me = self/ for partner = other)

  0 = not mentioned

  1 = self lusting for partner

  2 = partner lusts for self

  3 = both lustful

• 16. Feelsexy = phrase “feel sexy” “felt sexy” “feeling sexy” used? (so, search document for these exact phrases)

  0 = not mentioned

  1 = mentioned